


Changes

by LGCoffeeAddict



Category: NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s06e18 A Changed Woman, Romance, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23452279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LGCoffeeAddict/pseuds/LGCoffeeAddict
Summary: Hannah gripped Tammy’s back tightly, her face burrowing into Tammy’s neck, as if her problems would go away if only she could be held close enough. “I just—” she stopped herself, raising her head enough to rest her chin on Tammy’s shoulder. “I just gave Ryan the divorce papers. It’s—” she drew in a shuddering breath— “It’s official. My family’s broken.”---When it feels like she just keeps losing, taking hits, swallowing her pride, Hannah goes to Tammy, who's been there for her through all of it. When she takes the biggest loss yet, finalizing her divorce, she almost breaks and seeks out Tammy once again.
Relationships: Tammy Gregorio/Hannah Khoury
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	Changes

The small LED numbers on the cable box just switched from 8:59 P.M. to 9:00 P.M. when Tammy heard a timid knock on her front door. Wondering who would be swinging by so late in the middle of the work week, Tammy put down her book and kicked off the throw blanket toward the other end of the couch so she could answer the door. When the door swung open to reveal Hannah, her espresso-colored eyes shining brightly with tears she was too proud to shed, Tammy stepped aside without another word.

“Hey,” Tammy said as soon as she closed the door, pulling Hannah into a hug. She looked like she needed it. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Hannah gripped Tammy’s back tightly, her face burrowing into Tammy’s neck, as if her problems would go away if only she could be held close enough. “I just—” she stopped herself, raising her head enough to rest her chin on Tammy’s shoulder. “I just gave Ryan the divorce papers. It’s—” she drew in a shuddering breath— “It’s official. My family’s broken.”

Rubbing soothing circles on Hannah’s back, Tammy tightened her hold when she heard the news. As much as she knew Hannah was intellectually already separated, she also knew saying that final goodbye could feel like a gut punch. “Shh.” She moved her hand from rubbing Hannah’s back to stroking her hair. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting, baby.”

Pulling back with a heavy sigh, Hannah’s expression wavered. She was trying so hard to keep her composure. “I just couldn’t go sit at home alone after that.”

Tammy’s hand fell to her neck, her thumb stroking away imaginary tears. “You’re always welcome here, Hannah.” Hannah sent her a grateful half-smile, relief relaxing the tension in her stance. “You want to talk about it?”

The taller woman shook her head and shrugged. “Not really. Could we just hang out for a little while?”

“Of course, come on,” Tammy urged, her hand slipping down to loop through Hannah’s elbow. “Sebastian’s already asleep, so how about we go to my room and watch a movie?”

“That sounds perfect, thank you.”

“Want anything to drink? I have tea, or wine, tequila if you need the hard stuff.”

“I’m already starting to get a little bit of a headache, so maybe just some tea?”

Tammy nodded. “You got it. You know where my room is right?” She waited for Hannah’s affirmation before continuing. “How about you head on up and pick out a movie while I make our tea?”

When Hannah disappeared upstairs, Tammy headed to the kitchen. She started the kettle and plucked the chamomile tea bags out of their box. She’d started to understand the comforts of a warm cup of tea once she met Hannah, who almost always had a steaming hot mug of some herbal blend on her desk at work. Retrieving two mugs from the cabinet, Tammy’s heart ached for her friend. She may have not felt that same profoundly bitter disappointment when she divorced Ethan, but she understood how painful endings could be. Hannah was undoubtedly feeling raw, scared, and alone. It was the least Tammy could do to try to ease that turmoil.

The kettle whistled for just a second before Tammy opened the spout, not wanting to disturb Sebastian, who’d been running himself ragged doing his normal job and continuing his REACT training. A minute later, Tammy was gingerly walking up the stairs, making sure the steeping tea didn’t spill as she took a step. She pushed open the door to her bedroom with her shoulder. Hannah sat in the middle of the bed, her legs curled up under her chin, and she was clicking through Netflix with laser focus. She turned to Tammy when the door opened, and she smiled gratefully, shifting a couple inches to her right.

“You pick a movie?” Tammy asked as she handed Hannah one of the mugs. Hannah wrapped her hands around the porcelain and inhaled softly. Tammy placed her own mug on the nightstand and climbed onto the bed.

“I can’t decide.” Hannah tossed her the remote. “Got any ideas? Something light.”

Tammy acquiesced, looking through the options, making sure not to pick one that focused on romance. “How do you feel about Disney movies?”

A dry chuckle left Hannah’s lips as she took a cautious sip of the hot tea. “I have an 11-year-old, Tammy. Of course, I like Disney movies.”

A few clicks later, and Moana’s opening notes filtered through the bedroom. “Also, why are you sitting on top of the covers like a psychopath?” Tammy kicked her feet underneath the comforter and tugged at the material below Hannah. “Get under here.”

That managed to draw out another small smile and laugh, and Hannah relented. She offered her tea to Tammy to hold while she settled herself under the covers, ending up shoulder to shoulder with the profiler. Taking back the tea, she bent her knees and leant back into the pillows. “This is better,” she ceded.

Tammy brushed Hannah’s arm reassuringly and reached to her left for her own tea. They watched the movie in silence for a while, Hannah’s eyes growing less and less glassy as she let herself be distracted. “Hey,” Tammy whispered after about fifteen minutes. Something Hannah said earlier kept bothering her. “Your family’s not broken.”

A beat of silence followed, and Tammy looked to her right to see Hannah stare into her mug. “Every time I see Naomi with Veronica, it feels like I’m losing her.”

“Naomi’s always going to be your daughter, Hannah. She’s just trying to make the best of a complicated situation.” Tammy touched her arm to get her to look up. “No matter how great Veronica is, she’ll never be her mother.”

“I just wish she could have _one_ flaw,” Hannah sighed. “It’s hard not to take it personally when my ex went from me to June Cleaver.”

“What do you mean?”

Looking up to the ceiling, Hannah worried her bottom lip as she tried to find the words. “She’s perfect. She’s beautiful, kind, thoughtful, and she’s always there, ready to help no matter what.”

“You know you just described yourself, right?” Tammy nudged her shoulder lightly, trying to break through the spiral Hannah was so clearly going down.

“Except I’m _not_ always there,” Hannah insisted. “Time and time again I’ve had to distance myself from my family for their safety. And then he goes and picks someone like Veronica, and it just…makes me doubt if I even deserved to have the family I had.” Tammy’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. She’d never thought Hannah would have such worries. “It’s like he was telling me, if only I didn’t have the job I do, we could have made it work.”

“ _Or_ ,” Tammy interjected, wrapping an arm around Hannah’s shoulders to jostle her out of her thoughts, “he needed someone as perfect as Veronica to help him move on from having someone as perfect as you.”

“I’m far from perfect,” Hannah mumbled into her tea. “I focus too much on my job, and I can’t even do that right. I got demoted a year in.”

“Okay, I can only focus on one incorrect idea about yourself at a time,” Tammy quipped, not willing to get sidetracked into the debate over her demotion, as much as she _needed_ to correct her former boss. “Your career matters to you, and you take it seriously. You’re showing Naomi what it’s like to have a mom who can kick ass at a high-stress job and still be supportive and there for her daughter. You and Veronica just have different lives, different callings. A college lit professor’s life lends itself to more predictability, more stability. It’s not a character flaw to have the job you do, just like it’s not a mark of perfection for her to have the job she does. It’s just what Ryan needs now.”

Hannah leaned her head back against Tammy’s arms. “In my head, I know you’re right. I just can’t help but feel like I failed somehow.” She rolled her head to the left so she could look Tammy in the eye. “I don’t even want to be with Ryan anymore. Why does this bother me so much?”

“Because saying goodbye hurts,” Tammy said simply. “Moving on hurts.”

“Yeah it does.” Hannah shifted closer so she could rest her head on Tammy’s shoulder.

Tammy took Hannah’s empty mug out of her hands and placed it on her nightstand before gathering Hannah up in a bear hug, her chin on top of Hannah’s head. “You’ll be okay, love.”

They remained that way for the rest of the movie. Tammy’s arm eventually relaxed and fell into her lap, but Hannah’s head stayed nestled on her shoulder, her breaths becoming more even as she let some of her stress go. When the end credits rolled, Tammy looked down to see Hannah had fallen fast asleep. She looked younger, more innocent when she was able to put down the weight she constantly carried on her shoulders. Tammy wanted to keep her that way as long as possible, to shield her from the world for at least a few more hours. Dropping a featherlight kiss on the crown of Hannah’s head, Tammy gently laid her head down on the pillow behind her and reached to turn off the light.

* * *

Sunlight streaming through the window nudged Hannah’s eyelids open. Blinking away the sleep from her eyes, she took in the unfamiliar wall in front of her. The more she woke up, the more she registered the weight lying across her waist. She looked down. A smooth arm was draped across her. The tattoo on the wrist told her it was Tammy’s. She looked behind her, seeing Tammy stirring behind her. Tammy’s face scrunched up like a child’s when Hannah’s movements made the sun hit her face, and Hannah couldn’t fight the amused smile that made its way onto her lips.

Tammy’s heavy-lidded eyes fluttered open, and Hannah watched as she took the same few seconds to reorient herself before her gaze locked with Hannah’s. “Good morning,” Tammy said shyly, her arm tensing when she realized where it was.

Hannah rolled over to face Tammy, making no move to push Tammy’s arm off her. “Good morning,” she responded. “Thank you for last night.”

“You feeling any better?” Tammy’s fingers began lightly tracing circles on Hannah’s back when she realized Hannah wasn’t going to move.

“Not really,” Hannah sighed, but the smile stayed on her lips, “but I do feel a lot saner now. Like I can handle it.”

Tammy’s lips quirked upward. “That’s a step in the right direction.”

The feeling of Tammy’s fingers on her back threatened to lull Hannah back to sleep. “I should probably get going so I can change before work,” she whispered.

“Probably,” Tammy echoed, but she kept drawing circles on Hannah.

The quiet that descended over the two of them felt sacred. Hannah couldn’t find it in herself to break it, preferring to watch how the sunlight in Tammy’s dark brown eyes made them lighten into hazel. Tammy appeared to be equally as reluctant. Her lips parted slightly as her eyes scanned Hannah’s face, pausing for just a second too long on Hannah’s mouth.

“Tammy?”

“Yeah?”

Hannah bit her bottom lip, deliberating for a moment before she decided. “You can kiss me if you want.”

Tammy’s eyes flickered back to Hannah’s in surprise, not sure if she heard Hannah right. “How did you know?” she finally asked, a little hoarse.

“I didn’t know,” Hannah said, feeling the color rising to her cheeks. “But I hoped.”

An incredulous smile bloomed on Tammy’s face, her hand leaving Hannah’s back to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Hannah’s ear. “So I can kiss you if I want to.”

“Mhmm.”

Tammy moved in closer, her thumb stroking Hannah’s cheek. Hannah felt the whisper of Tammy’s lips on her mouth when she spoke. “For the record, I _do_ want to.”

“Good,” Hannah breathed.

Another beat passed, and then Tammy closed the space between their lips. Hannah’s eyes slid closed, enjoying the warm, sweet pressure of Tammy’s lips as they moved over hers. Her hand slid up to Tammy’s neck, and she felt Tammy’s thumb continue to brush across her cheek.

They parted after a few moments, but not without a final graze of their lips. Hannah’s eyes opened slowly, seeing Tammy’s brilliant grin as soon as she did. Hannah’s face mirrored hers, she was sure of it. “ _Now_ I feel better,” she teased.

Tammy laughed, tugging her in for another few kisses. “We should probably get you out of here,” Tammy said, “before Sebastian sees you and starts asking questions at work.”

Groaning, Hannah obliged after one last peck. “Fine, but you owe me breakfast.” She rolled over to sit up on the edge of the bed. 

Tammy watched her stretch, her hand falling on the still warm space on the mattress Hannah just vacated. “I could be convinced to pick up a few beignets on the way into work.”

Hannah stood and grabbed her leather jacket from the desk chair next to the window. “Oh? And what would it take to convince you?”

Sitting up, Tammy crossed her legs. “You invite me over for dinner tonight.”

Gathering her hair from under her jacket collar, Hannah tugged on the leather and leaned over onto the bed. “Tammy, would you like to come over for dinner tonight?”

“I’d love to,” Tammy accepted, grabbing Hannah’s face and pulling her in for one last kiss. “Now you’d better go. Sebastian will be up any minute.”

Hannah grudgingly left the room, tiptoed down the stairs and out the door without arousing Tammy’s housemate. Once she was in her car, she leaned back in the seat, a small smile playing on her lips. She raised her fingers to her mouth, feeling a warm glow in her chest.

She recalled Tammy’s words from last night. _Saying goodbye hurts. Moving on hurts._

Saying goodbye _did_ hurt, Hannah thought to herself as she fiddled with the strap of her bag. But—maybe, with the right person’s help—moving on didn’t have to.


End file.
